Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"Excuse me? But, do you know ANYTHING about my wife??"

Good morning!  I should start calling 6:00 A.M. "The Blogging Hour".  My thoughts have always been most clear first thing in the morning - ever since I was a kid.  I think that may be why I liked subjects like "English" and "Creative Writing" so much.  From the very beginning of grammar school, I seem to have always had teachers who taught two of the "Three "R's" first thing in the morning.... saving 'Rithmatic for the afternoon.  You know:  "after lunch".  With "no nap".  No wonder I hated math!  No wonder I had to marry a CPA to get my checkbook balanced!!

Last night was not nearly as restless as the night before...mainly because we think we may have decided as a family to put off my looming shoulder surgery until later in the year...there seems to be far-too-many more negatives to having it prior to leaving.  The truth is, I need to have both arms for this move to India.  Period. 

Of course, "Murphy's Law" is pretty constant.  There can never be a period of time with NO PROBLEMS during a move such as ours.  It seems that some sort of "daily drama" is an absolute prerequisite when there are so many "balls-in-the-air" ... in an attempt to smoothly get the three of us ready for a move to the other side of the globe.

But I must say, even by "Murphy's Law standards" ...Last night's "little problem" is a doozie. 

Evidently, a short e-mail that Amy Suzzanne had written to Geetha, (the "in-country" ex-pat coordinator for Deloitte and our main contact for getting things done on the ground in Hyderabad! She seems very sweet!) had "fallen between the cracks".  When Geetha e-mailed me back with answers to my questions about medical facilities in her area...I thanked her and then re-asked Amy's important question:  "Any word on Suzzanne's question about finding us a "dog-friendly hotel" for the beginning of our stay?"

Her answer came back fairly quickly.  You need to remember that "India-time" is 12-and-a-half hours ahead...so our "midnight" is Geetha's "early afternoon".

I'm glad that I was sitting (actually laying) down when the two response e-mails came in!!

Geetha's response was a little disheartening:

"Hotels do not allow dogs. But we have a place where dogs are taken care. It is just like a hotel for them. I shall ask my colleague Vineel to send you more details on this".

Oh, great.  I guess it's not time (yet) to wake Amy up.  But still....I'm positive that I saw dog-friendly hotels in Hyderabad on several websites I had Googled.  How hard did she look?  Does she not know who Beloved the Lhasa Apso is??

Geetha's colleague Vineel's e-mail turned out to be a real classic...one for the ages.  Here is what he said, verbatim:

"Hi, Scott:

Unfortunately there are no quality hotels in Hyderabad with a dog-friendly policy. I have checked with most popular hotels and all of them do not allow pets into the hotels.

Like Geetha mentioned, there is a place where they can take care of your dog. “Laxmi Kennels” is a place owned by Mr. Sujeeth, his mobile number is (number withheld). Your dog will be fed the "Pedigree" brand of dog food, which is the best dog food available in India. He will be charging you around Rs. 200 for each day that the dog is with him."

My immediate reaction?  "Are you %$#$%!& kidding me???"

Do you know my wife???  Do you know that her Confirmation Name is "Francis" (the patron saint of animals!!)  For Amy, "fursons" are more important than "persons"!!  Do you know how much she loves her dogs??  Do you know how much she loves Beloved???  You'll be putting HER in a cage before she'd allow Beloved to be put in one!! 

You need to know that when we were planning to make the two-week "look-see" trip to Hyderabad, we were actually going to put Beloved (this is a link to her Facebook page!) into a fancy "Pet Resort" here in town.  To get The Bee accepted as a resident - we had to fill out a long application and she had to pass an "interview".  The cage-free boarding at Paradise Ranch Dog Resort  (you have got to see this website - the place is AMAZING!) means that she would have her own room with her own bed.  It's like a bed-and-breakfast for dogs!!  This is the ONLY WAY that Amy would agree to leave Beloved behind - they have video/web-cams in every room so she could watch her baby-girl at all hours!  There were private walks, supervised play-time, custom meals, Shiatsu (or is it Shih Tzu??) massage is available.  Amy was even willing to pay extra for a nightly "bed buddy" - someone who would sleep with Beloved in the bed every night!!  The cost (worth every penny for Amy's peace of mind!) would be $65.00 per night, not including food (which is made-to-order) and the "bed buddy" program.  200 rupees per day?  That's $4.51 !!

So NOW do you see how ridiculous this whole thing is?? 

Sorry, there Mr. Sujeeth of Laxmi Kennels!!  I'm sure you are a swell guy, that your kennel in Jubilee Hills is quite lovely.... and we salute your devotion to God's furry creatures.  But you will get Amy's "Beloved" when they pry her out of her cold, dead fingers!!  Amy would rather stay in a Turkish prison than allow you to have Beloved for even a nanosecond!!  That is simply not going to happen....ever!!  You had better plan to clear out the Taj Mahal to put Beloved in first! 

I'm sure we'll have an update on this situation ....as soon as Amy gets up and checks her e-mail!! 


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